Thanksgiving: A Year Later


The tears began to fall, unexpectedly…

It was then that I had to come face to face with my emotions… my feelings, and … my own truth!

My husband loves to eat, and my cooking reigns supreme in his opinion!! (my mommy would truly be blown away) He has been begging for a traditional Thanksgiving spread.

Thanksgiving was once a major family event for us. My mother and sister would do all of the cooking, and I would show up, with an appetite. For years, that was just the way it worked…

Two years ago, everything changed — and what once was, became the way that would never be again. I became the Thanksgiving hostess that year. I cooked — and ‘they’ showed up! It was also the last Thanksgiving that we would celebrate together with my mom.

You see, in 2012 mom passed away three weeks before Thanksgiving. My mother loved this holiday season. She would go above and beyond for the T’giving meal. And she did the same for Christmas — gifts, and the food spread. She was very much the type to be exceptionally grateful for family ties.

Life is not the same — on so many levels — without Mom’s physical presence.

My sister let it be known that she planned to boycott T’giving this year. Her day would be spent in bed and that plan quickly became mine, as well!

The tears I mentioned earlier — fell as I sat in my husband’s car, drawing a blank as I attempted to write out a shopping list for a T’giving meal for the two of us. I couldn’t think of anything besides a small bird, collards, cranberry sauce and biscuits.

I cried because:

– I miss my mom on ridiculous levels…
– We’ve lost our spirit of family togetherness…
– Our immediate, and some extended family ties are tattered, fractured, bruised and — out for the count!

My mother-in-law called on me this evening to bake a turkey. I’ve never disobeyed any of her directives, but this time I put up a fight. I just am not in the mood to celebrate at this time. Ultimately I conceded and agreed to cook the backup bird and spend another T’giving with my in-laws. I’m trying hard to convince my sister, niece and son to join me —

For me, I know that I need to continue to try to find a peaceful understanding with my mom’s death. I also need to have my family with me, and I’m praying that they will join me.

Pray for us…


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